Episode 2: From the Deep Freeze to Creative Emergence

It's the end of another chapter. It is. That means we're almost, almost at spring.

Am I pushing it? I went to the acupuncturist today, and we were talking. I went because I'm like, hmm, the body is a little off, feeling this and that. And so we were talking about early spring.

And I feel like we really are in early spring. Like this is where it's at. We're in early spring. Yeah. know, in, uh,

Not necessarily newfound, but deeper appreciation. Perhaps because we didn't have to do a big move in the middle of winter for the first time in several years. So that's one thing. But also, so this chapter we had the big winter storm, which affected I feel like most of the country or more than half of the country.

And I love I had, we had the deep freeze card to coincide with the winter storm. And, you know, thankfully, here, we just got snowed in for a week.

And I say it like, you know, we had like this mountain of snow outside, we got like eight inches. A lot for that area, right? That's a lot. A Like, it is inches here in Georgia. We would literally be like closed down for weeks, or at least until it melted, until the whole thing melted, because, like, we don't know how to deal with snow. Sure. So I feel like that's always the joke between people up north versus folks in the south is like, you know, how, how we approach snow. No, but I certainly we probably could have gotten out sooner had we tried, but I welcomed the reason to stay home for a week.

And, you know, I feel like the new status quo, having lived.

Thanks. into this year from last year's quest for rest, a new way of embodiment of resting and immersing myself in making art and reading for pleasure.

Reading for what? I know. I know. I Doing what? I know. That's awesome. I mean, I actually don't read for pleasure because I don't find reading pleasurable. Just saying, you know, that's the difference between you and I. But there are other things I like for pleasure, so reading just doesn't have to be one of them. Nope. Not at all pleasurable. I take after my father. Yeah. You only read if you need to learn.

And I am so freaking excited about how the collage work, like the Visionary New Year experience went this year, oh my gosh.

Speechless. Okay, if haven't seen my face, people, speechless.

I, so like the collage deal was one thing. And let's remember, I almost didn't do a collage this year, right? Like, I wasn't doing a collage until the morning of collaging. Okay? And holy cow, am I so glad I did. First of all, I love the way my collage. I love It turned out just as a collage. I really, really just, I love it. I think it just came out like exactly the way I was hoping. It just really came together.

But then, Miss Cassidy, when you did the Angel's Gate, it was the Angel's Gate meditation that sent you spiraling into this idea of overlaying, and make sure I'm saying it right, overlaying our Robes of Light calendar, quarterly calendar, over the collage in order to add.

So now, I don't remember, I think that you analyzed for the four quadrants already, right?

I started to, most of it resides mentally in my head, which I, when I say mentally in my head, I'm like, Oh, that's, that's redundant.

Or, you know, sorry, folks, I'm like, obsessed with language.

Don't mind me.

So it's not all written out yet. And actually, I uncovered another layer to, to this as well.

You did? I did. That you haven't shared. Erin? Well, I had just typed it earlier today on my retrospective notes, and it was like a one-liner buried amongst a bunch of stuff. Yeah, I don't know that I caught it. So are you going to share it here? Are we keeping that a secret? Well, I mean, not necessarily. It's just the understanding that when you look at an astrological chart, it also has four quadrants. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. You know, it also has four quadrants, and then it has, each quadrant has three houses. And so I was like, oh, shoot. I'm like, here's another layer. Right, each quadrant for us basically has three chapters as well. Right, exactly. And that's three chapters of the solar story. Yep, yep. And so that's the sort of extra layer I want to like go into is like, not only are we looking at this quadrant-wise, but we can start to go into this chapter by chapter.

We could And to go into this house by house. And so that's the next layer. And, you know, I think, so I definitely want to add this. There's some, you know, these courses, experiences that we host, that we do ourselves, you know, they evolve as we evolve.

And so there are definitely some parts from this last Visionary New Year experience I want to add. To the course for next year. And I feel like I might even save the analysis part for like, if someone if this is your first time doing it, like, don't look at the analysis part yet. Right. It's like that. It reminded me of the activity, like the four square collage activity that you facilitated, that you had done. Based off Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Yes, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Yes. I, yeah, I think I wrote that in your notes that when you, when. And you said to break it into the four quadrants, I'm like, oh, it's reminded me that I did that workshop, right, with us? Yes. Yes. It totally reminds me of that. What else did you want to say about that? Because I have something that really stood out to me when I did mine. What else did you want to say?

I don't think that, I think that was mostly is that I just wanted to cue that it reminded me of the Elizabeth Kuhler-Ross exercise. And I think that might leave it as a, for first timers, know, save the, don't look at the analysis lesson until after you've done the intuitive Yeah, I think that's important.

I do really think it's important to save it because you don't want these preconceived notions in your head as you go into it.

You want to go in just like creating. From the heart and following inspiration and intuition. I think that's when you get the most out of the analysis, because otherwise, it's contrived, you know. So, yeah, I totally agree with you. And so they'll have to be some forgetting on my part, because I want just as much excitement next year in my analysis.

Of my next collage as I had this year. So I don't know if you took a look at all four analyses.

I'm having trouble with language today, too, of my quadrants.

And if you didn't, it doesn't matter. But what really stood out to me was that literally in each quadrant,

I had the juxtaposition of what stood out and literally what was hidden or like difficult to see.

Like you had to like get in there, like use the magnifying glass, like really look, what is that there? Each quadrant had those things, like the obvious and then the, oh, look there.

And it was, that to me was really the mind blowing piece, how even the things that were hidden, things that if I had really been what I'll call retentive, like I may have tried to like, um, use digital art to like get something out of there or, um, uh.

Oke?-bye. Like cover it over with something else. So it wasn't there because it just, I didn't know what it meant. It wasn't really, it wasn't really part of my collage, but it happened to be in the image and I'm blown away by that part. Um, what was hidden and how in each quadrant it became so meaningful.

Those hidden parts. Um, so I don't know if you looked at your collage that way, whether your collage had those kinds of things in it. Um, but I had one hidden item in each quadrant and I am completely floored.

Mmm. That's so cool.

I've got mine. So, I don't know, did I ever show you how big mine was this year? Well, I know you talked about it. That you talked about starting it on a very large board and then decided to shrink it down. Yeah, so this is, I mean, it's still about three times the size from previous years.

How actually is that? Two times the size. Is that like 18 inches?

I'd say more than that, maybe 24. Okay. I'm going to grab a comparison real quick. Okay.

Oh, my. Oh, my. So, these were the previous years, right? Uh-huh. Those are like, what? Eight and a half by 11? Yeah. Or something like that, a 8x10. Yeah. Right, like a regular size piece of paper. Right. And with the idea of back then, it was like containing it so that I could do it in as close to two hours as possible. Right, right, right. And so, yeah, that's a huge difference in size. Yeah. And the first year I did it, I used mostly stickers, you know, it's kind of like, but I love to show how this has evolved over the years. And how I just felt ecstatic working on this, this year, like going full in to artistry mode.

Like, I hadn't been that engrossed in art since I was in high school. Wow. Okay. I mean, it's been a long time. And this, granted, it took me longer than two hours, right? It took me hours and days. But... If work Not year. Yeah. get it nitrescoses be What I love about how it shaped up is that, you know, come as you are, like, even you, like, you didn't even know if you were going to make a collage, and you decided the day of, and, of course, you have art supplies on hand, and were able to do it, but even digitally, someone could just decide, you know what, I'm going to show up and try, or you could do it to the extent that I did of, like, weeks of treasure hunting for raw materials. at vintage malls, and consignment barns, and, and everything, but, yeah, I'll put, since I'm aware that if you're listening to this, you're probably listening to the audio, I'll put the, I'll put the picture on our show notes, or, yeah, you can see it on the show notes if, if you're curious, but, yeah.

Super, super super enjoy.

Goal setting and putting, yeah, meant like using the sort of left brain goal setting and the mystery of like every year finding like halfway through or near the end of the story, all of a sudden something making sense as to why you, why something was on the board or like, like you were saying, if you don't know about higher order, make a collage and analyze it.

I say, make a collage, analyze it, set it aside, and then see what happens.

See, and then live it. Well, live it, like live life and then go back and realize you've lived your collage. Exactly. Exactly. Without even realizing you did. That is, that's the thing. And so I'm going to totally put us out of business. Yes. So. Thank All right. Because I just had this thought recently, like, I wonder what would happen if I didn't choose cards every month.

Now, of course, I'm going to because it's fun, right? But like, I still think I would live what, what the cards show like the, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like, um, the cards give markers along the way, but at the same time, um, I feel like they're just these external representations, um, that because of that, uh, thing I was just talking about that happens with collage, right?

Higher order that, um, we could do, we could, uh, have less fun.

uh, I'll And not do cards, and still have, you know, as long as we're following the intuition and the inner guidance, we would still have this life story unfold, with or without the cards.

Yes, well, and so this is the nature of it, the sort of paradox of the thing where I feel like so often with certain modalities, you see people who get so in deep with whatever the modality is that you think that that is the thing.

Right? And you forget that it's just a symbol, it's a tool, a language.

And it just so happens, like, it's not that cards are the only thing. you. Thank That we can or even do use, but it is fun and we can use like symbolic and archetypal language and story and all that good stuff. That's like, that's the gist here. But then the thing is, though, is that you and I have a depth of practice, a depth of praxis, a training of attention. And so that's what something like, so we're not out of business yet.

I agree. I agree. We're not. I know. And even, even the word business, I put air quotes around. So, right?

Language. So funny. So, yes, it's this, it's a tool, or this discipline, this job, this repetition, and the entrainment of your...

Attention towards flipping the script and being able to see life through a psycho-spiritual, a spiritual lens, through a sacred, sacred lens, and this constant coming back to the, the center, and, and so yeah, that's what it's a tool for.

So yes, in theory, we could just kind of like drop the cards and still live it, and oh, I saw something pop up in your eye. I because like it's having a hard time staying contained within me.

I feel like you just gave the answer to something that you had in your...

Or... That's Notion page for your chapter summary that I totally get why you wrote it, and on the other hand, I was like, oh, that's not true. We don't need to worry about that. You were talking about, actually, let me pull it up. I'm going to pull it up. You were talking, if I can find it, you were talking about religiosity, and the, I don't like to use the word.

I'm going to try and find another way to approach this, because I don't want to create things that we don't need here, so bear with me. Um, you were talking about the various religious viewpoints, not only in our country, but I would say across the world and how, um, things have perhaps become more divisive.

Um, and, uh, then you said something about, we don't need to explain or justify ourselves to the masses, which I totally agree with.

But that being said, this is a conversation that you and I have been having on and off for a while now. Um, since you had in, I'll call it an evil evangelical experience, not your own, but, but in relationship with someone, um, that kind of, uh, was a bit of a slap in the face.

Um, my words, not yours. Um, And, uh, it made me, your experience really started to make me think about how we, um, don't change what we're doing, but use language that is, I'll call it inclusive enough.

So people of all different backgrounds, um, could find an entry point for our work.

And I feel like in a way you just answered, not the entry point for the work, but you answered how I think this will never become an issue for us because while we do use cards, I think we...

As clear and concise like that, I just don't see an issue. I just don't see it becoming an issue or having an issue because I think that we are doing something that is very natural mm-hmm yeah and you know my heart says yes that I'm I too believe that to be true and I feel like this is the the time and

Or the time is now, you know, the time is right for this, and certainly our language is based and our program is based in inclusivity, and if there are those who feel safe to hold on, to beliefs that are based in exclusivity, that the notion of inclusivity feels threatening, then that's cool.

What's the thing everybody likes to say? Take what resonates, leave what doesn't, go follow, follow your frequency, you know, whatever. You know, I like to change some of the language, some of the new age language too. You know, it's funny, like, again, I've been obsessed with language my ... ... And I was taking doctoral-level studies in language and rhetoric as an undergraduate. And it sometimes is debilitating, but it's also a gift.

And so it has been such a joyous challenge to bring down from the field, step-by-step, to bring down this container and this work that we've been doing over the past several years.

And it's funny because I remember when I first kind of like brought it down, it was pretty heady in terms of the academic language around consciousness and like the cycles of time.

And it was, uh, yeah.

And the science

You run something by me, and it has to be, for me, something that can be embodied.

If it doesn't land in my body, it doesn't land, right? So I think our language has become much more embodied, and it needs to be practical. Otherwise, I get in trouble. I'm not following my design if it's not practical. So we have your language skills, and my need for practicality and embodiment, and I think we make a really good team in that regard.

Yeah. Um, I have a bit of the practicality as well in the Ashram.

Looking into my chart, was like, oh, yeah, the title of this podcast, The Practical Wisdom for Living in the Light, it just made, it makes so much sense. And I feel like in that regard, you and I are very practical. And that's the thing that about Ropes of Light work is it's understanding that life itself is the curriculum. And the practice. And the practice. And the practice. So we make the practice practical. We could we could go off on those things. Well, you could go off on a total tangent there. Well, and I just so I want to just express gratitude or like appreciation or the joy of the collaborative process that this has been over the past several years.

And I'm actually thinking back to our winter solstice show. If you guys remember how collaborative like the collaborative art. I'm. know. In terms of people weighing in the perspective and the cards like y'all don't even know cards till you've seen like the stuff that we do I mean we we crop them we expand them we flip them we like it's they come alive they really right right so even the cards in this past season became a collage of its own yes right because we took the art of the cards and we started building entirely new forms out of the cards I think that had has to be like one of my favorite shows ever the fact that the visual aspect of that show like we totally could never go just audio because there there was just magic in the imagery mm-hmm

It really was just really beautiful. I think it was really beautiful to watch how that show unfolded with the cards. Really, really fun. Yeah.

I got so excited about the show, I guess I was like, I sort of went tangential to the, you know, excitement about just in general, the joy of the collaborative creative process.

And even that was the, I feel like that was one of the takeaways of winning the lottery. And we talked about creativity itself, like redefining success and value and all that good stuff and creativity and the creative, the reward of the creative process being part of that. And collaboration being part of that, you know, I I trained in a creative workshop sort of discipline, like my background in creative writing, and so, you know, even just earlier today, we were talking about something that we had made, you know, for an event, and then we tried it out and experimented, and then we did an objective, like, oh, okay, let's actually, we'll, we'll, like, get rid of that. And then, like, not being in the creative process, not being too attached to anything, and, like, being able to, you apply intuition, as well as skillful discernment, and to hone and craft and mold the clay, and, you know, sort of get in there and evolve things.

It is. You know, I think that there is something very practical in what you were just describing.

I wasted my time doing that! There's none of that. It's like we enjoyed the creative process for being in the creative process. It was so much fun doing the work that whether we end up using something or not, it's like it doesn't really matter that much because we had fun doing it regardless. And you never know when we're gonna say, hey, remember when we did XYZ? You still have that? Let's pull that up. You know? Sure. Well, and this is, I mean, the thing about anyone who's trained and worked in like a creative profession, like, you know that the majority of the film, like, gets left on the cutting room floor. Mm-hmm. You know, you know that it takes who knows how many, like, pages. It's like the pages crumpled up on the- The floor and the trash bin overflowing and, like, the nature of the creative process and, yeah, I can understand, though, why it can happen where if you haven't developed that muscle and you're not used to, like, just the output of creating and, like, and then analyzing it, objectively, we've been so trained to associate our self-worth with our, our product, and then the perfectionism of making the grade, and it's so it's that is true, yeah, that is, that is true that, that, um, the Western world has really done that, and I think that it's done a disservice.

You know that there isn't just the cycle of creation and dissolution.

I think we may have talked about that in the last podcast, right? Bringing it back. Yeah, I guess we're circling back around. That there is a worthiness in that in and of itself unrelated to product and money making and just for creativity's sake.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

What else stood out to you? Um...

The first thing was, I was just like, gosh, I was so tired, this chapter, I just, I am doing this fluoride metal detox and so, but once I got past, past that initials, it's kind of like when you ask someone, like, how are you, or how have you been, and like the first thing that comes to mind is like, oh, I've been tired, or you know, this, and then it's like, okay, now let me actually allow the scenes, right, allow scenes from this past lunar cycle to like, arise in your mind, arise in your mind's eye, like what are the scenes that are playing out, right, in your mind, and then

And analyze them, right? That's kind of like what we're talking about with the visionary board thing. First, get the images, get the raw images, get the scenes, the filmstrip, and then, okay, why is that standing out? Why is that significant?

Well, I was considering how my soul goals, so along with our sort of visionary New Year thing, we have this idea of soul goals, and we have sort of an activity for that to sort of illuminate the heart's desires or the soul's desires.

And last year, it was the joke, the year-long running joke that ours was like rest and self-care, and I was like, I don't even know what that is. And so I thought for sure, given how tired I was especially, was like, all right, we're here, we're in for another quest for rest. And then I was taken aback by getting the number one goal being public life. And I've never even had that as an option, you know, on… How did that land? How did that even come up? I don't… Well, you know, it's part of the activity is like you label the different categories, we call them like cups, you know, these different areas of label one of your cups public life. I heard it in my inner ear, right, right, you know, because not every year, the categories aren't even all the same every year. Like last year, I was like, where did this self-care cup come from?

It's never been there before.

So, yeah, you know, the path is one of continual surprise and delight, but… So I was… I was surprised by that. was… to start with …. So… Thank And so it was public life, friends, and creativity and romance. And so I actually, I've ironically perhaps stepped backstage for a moment or off the stage.

You know, I'm actually not at the theater anymore. Yeah. You I've like, I took this winter to retreat back into the cave and recalibrate.

And this is why, again, feel like this rhythm that we're attuned to is so significant, because if I had just kept charging ahead in certain directions, it's very different. I am poised now for a very different annual journey, given, you know, these past two chapters. And so, uh, Yeah, I think it's, it's a good, this season, it's been really good to contemplate on the meaning of last year's story, and then pay attention to those inciting, those exciting, inciting incidents and questions.

And I feel like I've been attuned, I've been surprised by the call to study.

I've been studying like gene keys and astrology and like all this. Yeah, I've been surprised by this, by that.

And in studying gene keys, one of the things was an emphasis on like, teamwork and the city of teamwork being this synarchy, or the queendom, and how it's healing this shadow of inter

Interference, the idea of finding your fractal, that there's a wound in the DNA where you're healing sort of karmic relationships, and you're, so certain relationships fall away, and then you would, you find your fractal or your soul family.

And so, and as you raise your own frequency, if you're familiar with gene keys, there's like this idea at different frequencies, you know, you can experience these gene keys differently.

And so, how does that translate practically, right?

It's like, okay, said, you said, you said a bunch of spiritual gobbity-gook. How does that translate practically? Well, you know, in all fairness, I don't think that public life, friends, creativity, romance...

And study our spiritual gobbledygook. I think that was pretty practical, earthly. Those were pretty earthly words right there. Cool, cool. So I try to keep it real. try to keep it relevant. think that was real. I think that people would, you know, even non-spiritual people would get that. Yeah. And so in the healing process, I've noticed relationships, appreciation for relationships, the offer for help and support, like for my neck or my migraines, or even an invitation to Sunday dinner.

know, these things I'm paying attention to on the stage of life. These new soul family offerings and connections. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And where I'm, what I was sitting with, like, just before we hopped on was this inclination and urge for writing, and you had posed the question, so you're going to do it, you know, I was talking, I'm postulating these different ideas, you know, I'm sitting in the questions, and I was like, that is the question, isn't it? Am I going to do it? Mm-hmm.

So, that's what's standing out to me right now.

And, yeah, I think that's it. I was pausing, pausing to listen, listen within. And I was seeing Being in my mind is actually that red calligraphy feather that I used as a talking piece, and actually in my Q1 quarter, you see what she's holding? Oh, a little quill! The red quill, the talking piece, the little red quill. Did you have a chance to look at my talking stick images that I posted? I did very, I was able to skim through them and send like hard eyes and star eyes, but I want to- I didn't see them.

I want to, I texted them to you. I want to go, I want to look more. I love all of the symbolism, and of course, the beautiful craftsmanship. I noticed, I was like, wow. I had so much fun. At first, I have to tell you, my immediate response was Was, I don't friggin' feel like making a talking stick, but once I got over the initial, I don't know why I responded that way, because I also responded, well, I'm not just going to use anything, right?

So, you know, there I am at the crossroads here, like, all right, am I going to make the talking stick, or am I going to use this, the thing, and I really didn't want to just use the thing, whatever the thing would be, you know, just like grab something, and so I decided to invest.

I was committing myself, I was going to invest in the creative endeavor of making a talking stick. And I think the video that I had shared with you really She that, because I felt like she was so not woo-woo in her approach, which really helped me, and I don't know, I just really, I really enjoyed it.

I'll tell you my favorite part about it actually. So now it's winter here, and frankly, I don't have a lot of trees in my yard. And so I was like, one of my first responses after, I don't really really friggin' feel like doing this, was, oh, where am I going to get a stick? I was having a lot of inner conflict apparently around this. Which I rolled with, you know, I mean, I always have a sense of humor with myself. But... Um, so we had just had a storm as I'm like seriously considering this and I'm like, I bet I can find a stick and it was cold. It was like brutally cold. And so there was no way that I wanted to like drive to, you know, like a walk in the woods. I'm like, I don't want to walk in the woods. It's too cold. Um, so I just went out in my backyard.

I happened to see that, um, a branch of my neighbor's, um, evergreen actually fell into my yard.

And so I was just like, I can feel I have permission to just take this stick. And so, um, I went out there, I took my little shears with me and I clipped off a piece of it. And of course, you know, right there, you're in your creative process. You have to decide what part of the branch are you going to take. Where are you going to make your first cuts? Right? So make these major decisions, right? And so part of my decision was I'm leaving the fork at the end. Right? So that was like major decision right there. We have two paths, which one are you going to choose? Right? I bring it in. And this became my favorite part. I took out my multi-tool and now I needed to get the bark off of this freshly dropped branch.

So usually when people are making a talking stick, they're like taking something out of the woods that, you know, like it's old, it's been laying there, it's dried out. And so this was not dry. And so I sat with my multi-tool, like taking the bark off of this fresh branch.

And I just had so much fun doing that. I enjoyed the process of stripping the bark and to see the green wood underneath.

And I still love the way the green wood looks. Now I'm a little nervous as to what's going to happen to it as it dries over time because I think it could change size. And so now I've wrapped this fresh piece of wood in leather strips and beads.

So I don't know how that is going to hold up over time. But after I stripped it, I oiled And then let that sit for a few days and then began to decorate. And like, I think, again, it was because of that video that I sent you this woman who was, I wish I knew her name, I, she didn't make a long video was like a speeded up process of how she did her, her talking stick. Um, she really inspired me to make, um, like, each thing, including the color, the kind of stone I used on it, um, the little decorative pieces I put on it, um, they weren't just decorative, like they really had meaning for me, like each thing had a reason for being there.

Um, and so, thank you. And, and I take back all the hatred. . No, kidding. It wasn't hatred. It was just, it was like, uh, have you ever been like, um, it wasn't even repulsed, but it was, there was definitely like a feeling for me. Resistance? All right, fine. Yes, that's a good word. There was definitely resistance. There was definitely resistance to making the talking stick. Um, but I ended up really, really enjoying it. And, um, as much as I went a little crazy with the glue gun, a little hard to control at times, um, it, I really liked the way it came out and I love holding it. Like it has a nice feel to it. Um, and a good length and, uh, love the bell at the end. And, uh, so thank you, Amazon for the package of bells, um, like these antique bells. Um, and, uh, yeah, I, I had a blast. It ended up being good in the end.

So, let's see, a couple of things.

Well, one, I would love to get a picture of it on the show notes, and I can even add that video that you were mentioning as well. And another thought that had come to mind is the discernment, value of discernment around resistance in the creative process, and being able to tell when is this resistance that is there for me to move through that's going to, you know, productive resistance, right? Versus an indication that this is not, like, the path, a redirection.

So, I love the nuance in exploring that.

I feel like that could be an entire conversation unto itself. the nuance I agree. I agree. And there was definitely, there definitely was that discernment for me. And, and I feel like I realized that I don't, I don't think I necessarily prefaced any context as to why we had talking pieces, but we have avoided that we because we brought up something else that our, the thing that we scrapped. Yeah. And we didn't really get into that either. you want to share why we have the thing that we scrapped in these talking pieces? Right. So this is the first year that we're, I won't even say piloting because piloting makes it sound like it's like a big official like thing. It's, it's a very quiet incubation. It's a, it's a very quiet incubation of the protection of fragile beginnings. So it's a very quiet incubation of something that's been in the field for Susan for how many Ten years.

years. Ten years. Ten years. So this is Emergence Council, the year-long, spirit-led, visionary council, and sort of creative incubator.

And so we have these quarterly circle process, virtual council sessions that align with these cross-quarter points, or the gates or the gatekeepers, if you're familiar with that language.

And then there's other components to it as well, in terms of supporting visionary work. But specifically, the talking piece was for the virtual circle process. And, you know, Susan and I both have a background in training and practice in circle process.

So, that's what that was for. You know what is interesting, and I don't know why this is coming up, but I'm actually thinking out loud now, so I first learned circle process with the National Association of Mothers Centers.

And when I was a member of the National Association of Mothers Centers, I did something back then that to the head of our chapter, I'll call it.

Yeah, chapter, was like radical, and she totally disagreed with my approach.

Like I really created waves in the Mothers Center chapter that I was in. So I'm finding it interesting. So mother center, circle process, right?

We have that going on. The thing that I did that was so absolutely radical, and I'm laughing because I'm like, like, I didn't get it.

I'm like, why is this so radical? I opted to begin writing for the National Association of Mother Centers.

We had a monthly newsletter, and I wrote an article on my own.

I know. It was, it was like it was foreboding. Then.

And still to this day, I scratch my head, like the rule of the Mother Center, and it wasn't written, it was the unwritten rule. You never did anything alone. Oh. So, all of the circles were co-facilitated. Anytime there was an event, whatever, you never stood alone.

You always had whoever working with you.

You were on a team. You never took something and ran with it for yourself. Hmm.

And so I broke the rules. And I wrote articles and put them in the newsletter. So I'm finding it interesting. Interesting. So I haven't said this at all yet. But I just started to write on Substack. Only two articles so far. have a third one that I haven't published yet. And I know, Cassidy, I didn't know how, I didn't actually know how you would respond to that. But something happened in me, this was part of the inciting incident, that I felt, again, compelled, like I had to write.

I had to. I could not ignore it. I had to write. And it was, it was kind of like the same feeling that I was feeling back then. So I'm really finding it very interesting that that, back then. I had, in tandem, council circle and writing, like facilitator and writing, and here again, I have, God, what, 30, almost 30 years later, or something like that, facilitating and writing again.

So, I don't know how much I will write, but there were things that came up this chapter that I needed to do something with.

And it wasn't to change anything. You know, that's the interesting thing about it is let's see. I knew in my heart there was nothing, there was nothing to change. I wasn't writing, like I wasn't writing the angry letter to, you know what I mean, to, you have to change this. It wasn't about that at all. It was, I was very aware of these very strong feelings.

within myself that I wanted to share, you know, the, um, and that was exactly how my writing started back at the National Association of Mother Centers.

All I did was I wrote like the churnings, you know, I wrote about those, um, very present moment churnings, let's see. Back then. Um, and that's how I'm writing now. You know, it's just that, Oh, something's churning inside. And instead of just doing my own processing work, um, writing and kind of sharing how I hash it out.

May I make a seasonal connection? Yes, you may. Uh, when you were talking about, uh, this is sharing feelings and this churning, uh, sensation, I got in my mind side, the ocean of emotion. And then I remembered, uh, it's all a story. So make it a good one. Right. Right. And she has, I know she has peacock feathers, but I believe she has a quill, doesn't she? Isn't she writing? Yeah, you've got the card. You got the card nearby. I feel like she was writing. Yes, but it looks like she's writing with the peacock feather, I think. Boom! Yes! And I painted the peacock feathers this chapter. I know. know. And I bought the cup with the peacock feathers. I know. And so, yeah, this is the crazy thing is that I was looking at Susan's chapter two retrospective, and my jaw almost dropped. was like, Susan started a subsec? Or is it starting? She has started.

I have started it. Two articles so far, third on the way. Oh my gosh. Well, and unbeknownst to each other, I also have been having conversations about potentially starting subsets. Or also another friend just thinking about subsets. So anyway, maybe this is... Some visionary work I can do some co-writing, co-working on.

Yeah, this is just me saying I'm excited, and I love how this is like full circle for you, and like coming back around again. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Which, you know, I didn't think that I would do.

Like, it wasn't, it wasn't a plan in my head, you know, and frankly, it's a little intimidating because, like, I know what a good writer you are.

Like, technically. No, it's true, Cassidy. mean, your writing is really gifted from a technical level. It just, you're a good writer. You know, so it felt a little intimidating, but there was still something inside of me that said, well, I'm gonna do it anyway, I'm gonna do it anyway.

I'm so glad. And actually, you know, again, it could go into the whole like creative process thing again, and the value of having trained in a craft, but then having to also unlearn the training in a craft. As well, in order to reclaim the authentic voice. And so, yeah, I have a lot of I don't know if you saw my note, but I have a lot of exciting things about bringing back some of the old light writers project material and like starting to explore, you know, a container for people to work with their authentic voice and even handwriting and like some of that again. But I anyone anyone who takes emotion towards writing, I like

Celebrates so hard. It makes me so happy.

And for me, I'm not sure I have the words to describe this.

Because it's truly, for me, I feel like it's truly a choice. Like, I don't feel that, oh, if I didn't have my writing, like, what would I do? You know, and years ago, I did feel like, oh, if I didn't have dance or gymnastics, I wouldn't know what to do. So it's a very different thing. You know, like, that was that was, um, an outlet, like a coping mechanism, right? Very different than really viscateness forward out I'm looking to, so What I'm feeling right now, because I know I don't need to write to negotiate the emotions, but at the same time, there is this, I'm sensing this voice that needs to be heard.

You know, that there is this part of me that is, like, putting it down, like, I will not be silenced.

There's that fire horse energy right there. I will not be silenced. Yes, I agree. I really agree with you. That has come into my mind several times, and I'm rolling with it.

. . You know, like, it feels like, I'm rolling with it, I'm ready to, um, I'm ready for public life.

It, you know, kind of, I don't know, I, it sounds weird in a way, you know, for me to say that, because, um, you know, God only knows who will read my, my writing. Like, don't know if anybody's going to read it, but, um, I'm putting it out there nonetheless. Well, sure, and this is the part of the irony that I started to realize, I was like, oh, what if, like, the irony is that, like, the entree into public life means more time, like, by myself at home or in the cafe, like, dedicating time to writing, and public life is through this sort of, these digital networks and other means. So, um, you know, also, I was thinking about how, you know, we don't have a or know, A large cohort yet of fellow travelers, you know, we've been courageously venturing on the edge of consciousness together, but to have one person I know has a substack and then three of us separately, before talking to each other, thinking about starting a substack and so this sort of impulse towards writing, to sharing, to speaking more, and I already made the connection to our seasonal cards, but I want to thread it with something from this conversation, this podcast conversation, where we keep joking about language and this sense of

Jantius can rise a little bit more, can turn up the volume just a little bit more, you know, you're talking about maybe what the world needs at this time, mm-hmm, right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I kind of feel like that's a perfect place to end the podcast. Yeah, we'll go with that. I like closing with that. How about you? Yeah, that feels sound for me.

Do we have any announcements?

Well, we have one more chapter before we head into the end of the season. And I haven't looked at the dates yet. I know that registration for spring will open. I believe it's March 6th. It's two weeks before spring equinox. So keep an eye out. Yeah.

Interesting. don't have on my calendar when equinox is, but I believe it's like March 20th.

Does that sound right? For some reason, I was thinking the 21st, but y'all, you think we would know this? No, it's the 20th. You're right, right? You got it. You got it. Yeah. Yeah, you got it. March 20th, 2026, spring equinox. And that's when every equinox and solstice is when we kick off a new season. And, you know, that show. to We were talking about having like the most fun at that's what that is so it is a three hour recorded live opening card ceremony and it is dynamic and collaborative and so you can find out more about that on our website robesoflight.com and in the meantime you can check out the show notes on the tune in page and you know there was a I'll put in the show notes there's a Rainer Marie Rilke I don't know if I pronounced the name right that quotation about loving the questions themselves as if they were yeah feels that feels so appropriate for this stage of the annual journey so I'll throw that quotation in there too And in the meantime, as always

to be continued to be continued thank you so much love you thank you love you back see you soon